It was April 1st, 1978, when Robin and I first met. The disco balls’ wandering lights set a party atmosphere at the Wurtsmith Air Force Base roller skating rink. The music was several decibels too loud and painfully distorted. Halfway through the evening, the DJ announced it was time for the “snowball” event. This displaced Florida boy was looking for someone toting fresh Michigan snow to roll around the room.
The DJ asked everyone to clear the rink except two individuals, a man and a woman. After the song played for about 30 seconds, the DJ instructed the couple to choose different partners. This “snowball” effect continued until it grew into a large couple’s skate. There were about 150 individuals at the rink that night. Robin picked me from among them all. My heart raced as she approached and held out her hand. Four months later, we walked down the aisle and said, “I Do.”
Forty-five years later, we continue to learn how to love each other in more profound and meaningful ways. Some days are better than others. I am so thankful it doesn’t work that way with God’s love for us. His love is eternal and unchanging—one hundred percent ours from day one—to infinity and beyond.
God never wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, and He is never hangry. Love is not an action God chooses. When we mess up, He does not love us any less. When we do good, He does not love us anymore. Why? Because love is not a choice God makes in response to our actions. Love is who He is.
Do you picture God with furrowed brows and wrinkled forehead, rolling His eyes at your latest failure? Or do you see Him excited to greet you each day, thrilled to spend time with you? If you see God as a strict disciplinarian, you will probably pull away from Him and hide behind fig leaves. Or you may try to up your game to impress. If you see Father God as the loving Papa He is, you will draw close, and His love will change you.
By embracing His love, I became a more loving person. Listening, and trying to understand the other person replaced anger and the expectation that others should see it my way. I became better equipped to give love and to receive love from others.
When you connect to God, you are connecting to love. There is no condemnation for God’s children. No anger, wrath, disappointed looks, nor piercing stares from God—just love. God is not mad at you. He is madly in love with you!
When we connect with God, we experience the fullness of His love. Our initial connection with God comes when we accept His gift of eternal life. Jesus paid for our sins and opened the door to a loving relationship with Father God. When we say yes to the gift of grace provided for us through Jesus Christ, we step into a beautiful reality of being one of God’s children. With our sins forgiven, we enter a loving relationship with our Maker.
We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19 NIV). For you and I to love God, our spouse, our family, and others, we need a source greater than ourselves. God is that source. I don’t always choose loving words and actions. How about you? At times, I am tired, irritable, and hangry. I can be selfish and self-centered. That does not create a suitable environment for love and encouragement. I need God, and I need His love if I am to get this right.
The solution to poor behavior is not to try harder – God and His love are. When we know the God of love is alive within us, we can then draw upon His love – and our behavior changes. We are resourcing God Himself when we do so. Loving thoughts and actions will not just be a choice we make. They will become the core of who we are. Love will spring forth from our hearts and will not depend on our will power or self-control. Our love for others will be God expressing Himself through you and me.
Robin told me something several years ago. It went something like this: “You don’t say or do anything ugly, but the muscles in your face tense up and your eyes narrow.” To hold back when we want to blast someone is admirable. Avoiding the urge to give someone a piece of our mind is honorable. As we walk in the fullness of God’s love, we will avoid self-centered triggers altogether. Loving others as God loves us happens when our focus turns away from self and turns to God and His love.
God is love (see 1 John 4:16). He does not have to choose love because He is love. God is our source of love. When we resource the love deposited in us by God, we have a solid foundation that empowers us to love others. Receive God and His love by faith, and your life will be fuller than a beach umbrella by the edge of the ocean on a warm sunny day.
Live loved, and you will give love!